Great sex isn’t just about making sure every encounter involves plenty of orgasms for all those involved. It’s also about maximizing the quality of those orgasms more of the time. After all, everyone knows what it’s like to have (or give) the type of legendary orgasm that really makes the earth move.
You don’t have to simply leave things up to chance in that regard, though. There are plenty of ways to mindfully take things to the next level. Here are a few ideas to get started with.
Get to the bottom of what turns you on.
Although most people have a few pet fantasies or go-to bedroom moves they know really get them going, so many never fully get to know themselves on that level. Sure, exploring different kinds of porn can be an excellent place to start, but sooner or later, you’ll want to take things further.
Either on your own or with a partner, set aside a chunk of time some night for a full-body exploration session. Touch, stimulate, and explore your body from head to toe, taking note of any areas and techniques that really get you going. (A sex toy or two can be beneficial in this regard, as well.)
Don’t shy away from your backdoor.
There are two types of people in this world when it comes to anal play – those who’ve given it a try and know how pleasurable it can be and those who can’t quite bring themselves to break that taboo. The nerve-rich anal region is a powerful sweet spot with the power to supercharge an orgasm for a person of any gender, so you’ll definitely want to explore yours at some point.
Start small with some gentle external massage. When you’re ready, you can try inserting a finger or a small anal toy like a plug or vibrator. (Penetrative anal sex can also be pleasurable, but many people experience just as much satisfaction without taking things that far.) Try combining anal stimulation with intercourse, oral sex, and other activities to amplify your orgasm and take it over the top.
Explore a full range of sex toys.
The days when sex toys were seen as strictly for single women are long over. Adult toys of all types are the secret to unlocking your body’s orgasm potential regardless of your gender or relationship status. And there are toys available to suit every person’s anatomy, preferences, and personal goals when it comes to their sex life.
User-friendly vibrators like magic wands and vibrating bullets make great options for couples and those new to sex toys and looking to explore. Fleshlights, strokers, and prostate massagers are ideal picks for men interested in exploring the possibilities. There are even wearable toys made specifically for couples – like hands-free couples vibrators and cock rings.
Get comfortable speaking up.
When it comes to having better sex and stronger orgasms with your partner, communication is a massive part of the equation. So many people – men and women alike – are bashful about speaking up and being straight with their partners about what really turns them on. And this is a huge part of why they can’t achieve the same results during partnered intercourse that they might be able to accomplish on their own.
So practice talking to your partner about topics like turn-ons and making suggestions as to things you’d love to try in the bedroom. (If you’re new to talking about sex, you can always get the ball rolling over text or instant message first.) And be sure to encourage your partner to do the same. Indulging the occasional fantasy or turn-on for a partner can be more erotic than you realize.
Take your time and savor the experience.
So many people not only rush through sex because they’re pressed for time or extra energy, but because they’re over-focused on the quick and dirty goal of having an orgasm. And although orgasms are definitely too good to miss out on, you’re doing yourself a serious disservice if you’re not taking the time to enjoy your entire journey to the finish line.
The longer you draw things out, the more intense your orgasm will ultimately be when you do eventually allow yourself to have one. You can give practices like edging or tantric sex a try. You can also simply choose to make a long, lazy night of things, either on your own or with your partner. Experiment with different techniques, and make it a point to enjoy the whole experience. You’ll love how powerful it makes your big finish.
Ultimately, an orgasm reflects the quality of the sex and of the sex toys that got you there. So focus on the quality of the sex, and the orgasm takes care of itself.
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